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June 22 Family Guy - Doctor Tells Peter the Terrible NewsScripts:
Lois: So doctor, is Peter healthy? Doctor: My goodness, you'll be dead within a month. Peter: What? Doctor (revealing comic he was reading): Oh, Hagar the Horrible, if you keep up that lifestyle of pillaging and eating giant turkey legs, you'll be dead within a month. Now, onto you. Peter: So, what do you think? Pretty healthy, eh? Doctor: Well, Mr. Griffin, let's take a look at your physical results. Argh! There's a spider in here. Now, here we go. Mr Griffin, you're going to expire in a month. Peter/Lois: Argh! Doctor: This is your driver's licence, isn't it? Now, unfortunately, I'm afraid you're going to die... Peter: Argh! Doctor: ...when you watch these Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts. Lois: Will you just tell us how Peter's health is?! Doctor: Ah, Mr. Griffin, I'm not quite sure how to say this. Kim Bassinger? Bass singer? Bassinger? But now, onto the cancer. Lois: Oh my goodness! Doctor: You are a Cancer, right? You were born in July? Now onto these test results. My, they're much worse than I thought. Peter/Lois: Oh! Doctor: My son got a D minus on his history test. Now Mr Griffin, that liver's got to come out. Lois: What?! Doctor: It's been in the microwave for three minutes, it'll get dry. Now- Lois: Please, please, we can't take any more schtick.. Please just tell us, is Peter healthy? Doctor: Oh, yeah, he's fine, he's just really fat. |
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