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    22 June

    Family Guy - Doctor Tells Peter the Terrible News

     
    Scripts:
    Lois: So doctor, is Peter healthy?
    Doctor: My goodness, you'll be dead within a month.
    Peter: What?
    Doctor (revealing comic he was reading): Oh, Hagar the Horrible, if you keep up that lifestyle of pillaging and eating giant turkey legs, you'll be dead within a month. Now, onto you.
    Peter: So, what do you think? Pretty healthy, eh?
    Doctor: Well, Mr. Griffin, let's take a look at your physical results. Argh! There's a spider in here. Now, here we go. Mr Griffin, you're going to expire in a month.
    Peter/Lois: Argh!
    Doctor: This is your driver's licence, isn't it? Now, unfortunately, I'm afraid you're going to die...
    Peter: Argh!
    Doctor: ...when you watch these Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts.
    Lois: Will you just tell us how Peter's health is?!
    Doctor: Ah, Mr. Griffin, I'm not quite sure how to say this. Kim Bassinger? Bass singer? Bassinger? But now, onto the cancer.
    Lois: Oh my goodness!
    Doctor: You are a Cancer, right? You were born in July? Now onto these test results. My, they're much worse than I thought.
    Peter/Lois: Oh!
    Doctor: My son got a D minus on his history test. Now Mr Griffin, that liver's got to come out.
    Lois: What?!
    Doctor: It's been in the microwave for three minutes, it'll get dry. Now-
    Lois: Please, please, we can't take any more schtick.. Please just tell us, is Peter healthy?
    Doctor: Oh, yeah, he's fine, he's just really fat. 

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